


Sightseeing

by fabgoria



Series: Every Me To Every You (1000 Lifetimes Is Not Enough) [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explicit Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabgoria/pseuds/fabgoria
Summary: a.k.a. five times Haru wants to kiss Rin and one time he doesn't have to
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka
Series: Every Me To Every You (1000 Lifetimes Is Not Enough) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909696
Comments: 16
Kudos: 126





	Sightseeing

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first work for this fandom.
> 
> I started out writing something much larger but considering I've not written anything other than lab reports in the last 6 years I got kind of stuck.
> 
> The result of that is this. A short and simple 5+1 fic to ease myself both back into writing and to just put something out there, hoping it'll give me the confidence and inspiration I need for the other fic.
> 
> It's far from the quality I wanted it to be, virtually unedited and unchecked, but had I really gone to town on this I would've ended up with a 10k word fic, which is not what I wanted from this. I only wanted to spend a few hours on this to get a feel for how I work with the characters and where my writing is at at its most basic level, so I know what I'm working with when I move onto the other monster.
> 
> Regardless, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> (criticism is welcome but be nice about it because I'm soft)

i

The first time Haruka wants to kiss Rin they’re just kids. They’ve just won the relay, and while Rin had promised him a sight he’d never seen before, Haru had underestimated just how great that sight would be, because Rin looks positively ethereal. His eyes are crinkling at the corners from how wide his smile is, the light reflecting off the surface of the water is softening him at the edges, making him glow. Haru feels warm in every place that Rin’s skin meets his own, and when he feels out of breath he knows it’s not from the lap he just finished swimming.

Adults had told them about this. That they were approaching their teenage years and it was normal to have these sorts of feelings. He wouldn’t have believed it had he not seen it happen to some of his friends. Enthusiastically telling him about their new crush every few weeks. Haru had honestly found the whole business rather disgusting, not really understanding what it was all about, and he still doesn’t, because he doesn’t _want_ to feel this way about someone else in a few weeks. He doesn’t want to feel this way about someone else ever again. It feels like simultaneously drowning and taking a breath of fresh air, and when Rin looks at him with wide eyes, Haru’s still not sure which one to settle on, not sure whether he’s floating in air or floating in water. He doesn’t care enough to figure it out. He squeezes back harder when Rin hugs him, because Rin is leaving tomorrow, and Haru wants to hold on to this feeling for as long as he can.

ii

Rin’s changed since Haru last saw him. A warped version of his pre-teen self, all his personality traits mapped onto pure rage, rough around the edges. Haru doesn’t like it much, he much prefers the vision he holds in his memory. A version of Rin where he wins and the pure joy he feels radiates from his very soul, infecting everyone around him. The smile on this Rin’s face feels perverted, the enthusiasm behind his win doesn’t feel _right,_ doesn’t feel like Rin. But it is Rin, so Haru does all he can, which is close his eyes and hold onto the vision.

“You win.” He mentally bids one last goodbye to the boy from his memory before opening his eyes, turning to face the same boy in the present. “That’s great, Rin.”

Rin looks furious. His face is all harsh, angry lines “That’s great?” he snarls. Haru sees his fist flying towards him, and for a second he thinks he’s going to be punched, before Rin grabs him by his goggles to pull him flush against his own body. He stares Haru down, a challenge, and Haru defiantly stares back. While they’re locked in this battle, Haru has the excuse to really take Rin in. Map out all the similarities and differences between this Rin and the Rin he remembers from four years ago. And while this Rin isn’t right, by God is he a sight to see. He isn’t all that surprised when he comes to the conclusion that he still wants to kiss Rin. He almost convinces himself it isn’t a bad idea, then suddenly they’re being shouted at by a teacher. He doesn’t pay much attention to what he’s saying, focused only on how hot his skin feels where Rin had touched him.

iii

“Haru, what have you been doing the past three years? You’re better than this.” Rin’s a few meters away from him, looking straight ahead when Haru is looking straight at him. He doesn’t know if it’s intentional, if Rin’s trying to seem untouchable, or if it’s just coincidental. Either way, he _feels_ untouchable to Haru, and it reflects in his answer.

“I’m not better than someone who just got back from Australia.” He doesn’t mean for it to be a jab. He is mostly being honest, perhaps a touch defensive, but Rin obviously feels insulted, because he’s immediately turning to face Haru, already plastering on features that scream “I’m ready to fight”.

“Are you mocking me?” He spits, and while Haru wants to answer back with one sarcastic remark or another, he swallows it down. Now’s not the time for one of their fucked-up competitions.

“I’m not. You won our race.” His choice of words work well enough that Rin’s not instantly all up in his space and ready to get physical, but not well enough that he disarms.

“It’d be hard not to beat you, given the shape you’re in.” Haru knows Rin is challenging him, trying to reel him into a fight, but Haru’s not taking the bait.

“A win is a win. You won. Isn’t that good enough?” He’s fed up of racing Rin at his request for it to only end up pushing them further apart. He doesn’t want to carry on with whatever this is, to end up with nothing at all.

“It’s not! I want a real race!” Rin shouts. He turns back around, this time facing the floor. When he speaks, his voice is barely above a murmur. “Or else, I can’t move on.” Rin may be a masochist, may be happy to carry on with endless races that just further the strain of their complicated relationship, Haru is not.

“You’re a pain.” He turns the opposite direction, doing them both a favour and ending this ridiculous conversation. This ridiculous situation. “I only swim free. I won’t swim for you.”

Seconds later he’s being pinned against the fence, Rin’s face so close to his he’s almost crossing his eyes just looking at him.

“No. You’re going to swim for me.” Rin’s a different person than he was four years ago, Haru is not. He’s still the same boy who couldn’t say no to an annoying kid who wanted him on a relay team. Here he is now, not being able to say no to the same kid asking him for one more race. Also, he still wants to close the few centimeters between them and kiss that annoying kid, if only to shut him the hell up.

iv

He sees the yellow two appear beside his name and is flooded with relief. Maybe Rin can finally let him go now that he’s won, set him free from his personal goal of beating Nanase Haruka. He hears his name being called.

“Haru!” He looks up to see Rin towering over him, a victorious smirk spread across his face. The sun is shining behind him, lighting up every drop of water on his body. He almost looks like a God, and despite how small it makes him feel, Haru doesn’t think he’d mind getting used to this view. “I win. This means I’ll never swim with you again.”

He doesn’t only hate that Rin says it, he hates how happy it seems to make him when he says it. Haru was supposed to be the one set free at the end of the race, but he’s never felt so far from it. His breath catches in his throat, he’s almost expecting, no, _wishing_ for Rin to laugh it off and tell him he’s just messing with him. All he gets is an affirmation. “Never.”

Ever since the relay, Haru’s only ever wanted two things from Rin. To swim with him, and to kiss him. It’s really not fair that after Rin’s snatched the first of the two from him and shattered his heart into a thousand pieces, Haru still wants to kiss him.

v

“The world is laughing at me. So join in! No need to pity me.” Haru’s feeling sick from how Rin looks. He also feels sick from the fact that he hadn’t noticed before. How he was so caught up in the betrayal he felt with Rin’s personality change that he couldn’t see the true culprits behind it. Doubt, loneliness, dejection. It’s not a good look on him. Rin isn’t Rin without his infectious self-confidence, his unwavering positivity. The man in front of him is a shell of his former self, using feigned confidence as a front to hide his pain. It’s not a sight Haru would ever want to see, but he can’t look away, because he knows that somewhere in that shell are remnants of a boy he once knew, and he’ll be damned if he won’t try to fish them out.

“I told you to laugh! It’s all I’m good for anyway. I’m not even good enough to race you guys in a relay!” His voice is strangled with despair. Haru mentally prepares for the confrontation that’s about to happen, because Rin’s too far gone. Like a cornered animal, he’s bound to attack. Haru doesn’t mind getting bitten, not when Rin _needs_ this. Not if there’s even the slightest chance that this will make some of the pain go away.

“Calm down, Rin!”

“Shut up! What would you know?!”

“I know, how fun it is to swim with friends.” He clenches his fist in preparation. “How good it feels to swim in a relay together. You were the one that taught me that, Rin!” He looks up to find that Rin is baring his fangs at him, but he won’t back down, not now. “You’re the reason I…” Rin’s hands are grabbing at his collar.

“Shut up!” He shouts again. Haru doesn’t listen.

“I understand now. I found the answer! Why it is I swim! Who I’m swimming for!” Haru’s shouting too now, a fist is flying at his face.

“I told you to shut up!” Haru grabs Rin’s wrist before any damage can be done, and then they’re on the ground, rolling around to gain leverage on each other. Rin ends up on top, having the advantage of being taller and more muscular. Haru thinks he’s done for, but Rin’s gaze is travelling just left of Haru’s head. Haru follows it to the words he had etched into the ground earlier. He can feel Rin relax above him and takes his silent shock as good a moment as any to speak.

“This tree looks like the cherry blossom tree that was in the school yard. Isn’t that why you were here?”

He feels Rin’s hands unclench slightly from his collar, and he knows what’s coming next. He looks back at Rin and he’s crying, his tears falling over Haru’s cheeks as he breaks down.

“Why? Why isn’t it free?” He’s sobbing now. “I want to swim with you guys. I want to swim a relay with you guys.”

Haru doesn’t like watching Rin cry, he’s had enough of it to last him a lifetime, but he lets it happen, because he’s just brought back one of the most important parts of Rin’s old self. He still wishes he could aid in the process. He wishes he could kiss his pain away.

v + i

They’ve just won the relay. They’re also going to be disqualified. Haru doesn’t care, because he’s looking at Rin and he has to do a double take, because the first time he looks all he sees is the twelve-year-old boy he so desperately wanted back. When he smiles it’s wide and bright, no longer superficial and tinged with years of rage. This time, his smile reaches his eyes. A halo of light contours his figure, and the rough edges Haru saw before are now as soft as they used to be; as they’re _meant_ to be. Where he touches Haru it no longer feels like scorching heat, it only feels like the warm embrace that it is and once again, Haru squeezes back harder. Not because Rin is leaving, but because Haru’s not sure how long this will last, and he still wants to hold onto this feeling for as long as he can.

He thinks back to the last time they were here, when he first became aware of his feelings for Rin. How he silently prayed to any entity listening to never stop feeling that way. They must’ve heard him, because he never has. Four years and many obstacles later and he’s still as out of breath as he was when he was a twelve-year-old boy with what he thought was a crush. He realizes now, the reason he felt winded wasn’t because he was floating, on the contrary, he was falling. He thinks he still hasn’t stopped; doesn’t think he will ever stop. But suddenly there are two warm hands cradling his face, and a pair of soft lips are on his, and for all he cares he can be falling for the rest of eternity, because he knows whose arms will be there to catch him. The kiss is sloppy and short and when Rin hugs him again Haru can feel his sobs.

“You showed me the best sight I could’ve asked for.”

And finally, after years, they’re on the same page, because Haru knows Rin saw in him the same sight he saw in Rin.


End file.
